Mojave Diamonds delivers the best unintentional comedy

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Mojave Diamonds features ‘UFC superstars’

Mojave Diamonds won’t be taking the awards season by storm, but it is an unintentional comedic gem. The acting is awful, the dialogue is ridiculous, the action is brawlic and the vibe is as cringe as one would imagine when met with a cast that features Chael Sonnen, Donald Cerrone and Quinton Jackson aka “Rampage”.

All three men have featured in other action films but only Rampage has starred in a true, big budget production. Back in 2010, he starred as B.A. Baracus in the film remake of 80’s TV staple The A Team alongside Liam Neeson and Bradley Cooper. These days, he’s limited to low budget movies like these.

Donald Cerrone has been in a few “so bad they’re good” films, but none stood out quite as much as the 2022 western drama the hall-of-famer starred in with Gina Carano, Terror on the Prairie, produced by the Daily Wire. The movie earned a whopping $13,115 in theaters across the U.S., Russia and the UAE.

Sonnen has been in a few films before this one (Here Comes the Boom and Grudge Match), but none with as prominent a role, and has made multiple TV appearances. Between the three retired stars, there is a wealth of cinematic experience—at least being in front of a camera.

Even the IMDB description seems a little phoned in:

“A former MMA fighter and his brothers must rescue their kidnapped family from a dangerous crime syndicate after $50M of illegal diamonds gets stolen.”

I have some questions about these Mojave Diamonds!

1. How did the brothers’ family end up in a situation to be kidnapped?
2. Who is this dangerous crime syndicate and why did they target this family?
3. Why are the diamonds ‘illegal’?

If you, like me, are wanting answers to these questions, you can watch along with the boys as the movie is available in its entirety on Youtube. For USA listeners, start the movie at the 30 second mark. For international listeners, start the movie at the 43 second mark.

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Stephie Haynes

Stephie Haynes has been covering MMA since 2005. She has also worked for MMA promotion Proelite and apparel brand TapouT. She hosted TapouT’s official radio show for four years before joining Bloody Elbow in 2012. She has interviewed everyone there is to interview in the fight game from from Dana White to Conor McGregor to Kimbo Slice, as well as mainstream TV, film and music stars including Norman Reedus, RZA and Anthony Bourdain. She has been producing the BE podcast network since 2017 and hosts four of its current shows.

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